If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
