"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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