u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
