"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
