so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
