how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize