halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
