I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
