It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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