I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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