do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
