You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
