yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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