Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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