I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
