just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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