I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
