i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
