ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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