this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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