I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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