THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
