like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
