another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
