Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
