your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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