I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I will be naked everywhere
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
