Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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