I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
