He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
