We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize