: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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