I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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