got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
