you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
