On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
