there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize