The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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