halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
