Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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