Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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