who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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