Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize