don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
