i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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