Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
