So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize