She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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