did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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