we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
