just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
