mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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