remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
