You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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