life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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