that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
