id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
