Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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