your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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