spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
