did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
