C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Randomize